Thursday, June 09, 2011

They taught me..

So much to blog about such little time... Among a host of other updates was this tag passed on to me by momofrs. The tag was kicked off by two other mommy bloggers Kiran and Monica...

Says Kiran
it’s been a while since us Mommybloggers came up with something to celebrate, well, mommyhood, so the lovely Monika and I came up with this. A tag that has us list out five lessons of life that Mommyhood has taught us, these could be sweet, bitter, funny, touching, whatever. These could be survival tips or cooking tips, or something as simple as the best thing to get puke smell out of hair.



So, the rules are simple. Put the badge up. Write out five lessons that Mommyhood taught you. And tag five mommybloggers.

Here goes



Old dupattas, earthen pots, dried leaves, bits of ribbon, driftwood, pine cones, pebbles and stones... these are a few of their favourite things. Not the most expensive Barbies, nor those slick Hotwheels toys hold their interest for long. While Naisha can play for hours draping and redraping dupattas, painting pots, collecting leaves, Hrit runs around brandishing the skeleton of a dried up Tulsi plant or his trustee gada. And so here's the first lesson motherhood taught me.. Happiness comes cheap


I am a SAHM mom. I enjoy spending a lot of time with my kids.. talking, doing craft projects, dropping them, picking them.. all of it (Oh well not ALL of it.. most of it!). Many of my friends have however chosen to keep working, my SILs for instance and their kids are doing fine too. I like the kids in bed by 9 and I know of mothers who like them awake for some 'dad-bonding'. I am a 'schedule' person who has timings for everything and I know of mothers who function best when they go with the flow. If the basic lessons of life are in place... other things really do not matter.
So lesson number two then ...
When it comes to mothering -- different things work for different moms


Before the kids came along I'd watch moms staying up nights, waking up at ungodly hours to get them ready for school, calmly cleaning puke and poop and I was impressed. Never, thought I, would I be capable of all that. But along came Hrit Niasha and everything just fell into place. When Hrit coughed I'd wake up every few hours to nebulise him without an alarm, when a colicky Naisha threw up on me at a mall I just wiped myself and headed home. I've been known to faint at the sight of blood yet when Hrit needed a blood test I was there holding him and the queasiness just didn't show up. Of course it's another matter that Hrit felt completely betrayed (because I was there and didn't stop the evil doctor) and didn't come to me for two days.
And so here's my lesson number 3
You are capable of much more than you think

Naisha's weight was always on the lower side of the scale. "She's so thin," is the general refrain even now. I used to get worried and would try to push her to eat more, she would oblige only to throw up all of it. Finally I gave up. As long as she's in the 'normal' range I let her be.
Then there was the time when Hrit went through an aggressive phase. "It's a boy thing, he'll outgrow it", said everyone. I was, however, at a total loss on how to handle him and consulted a counsellor. The change was almost miraculous.
Each day brings with it decisions.. small and big.. should I give them this medicine or that one? Is this school better or is the other one more suitable? Should they go for Taekwando or elocution? Should they watch television or not? Is a gun the right toy for my child?
Listen to everyone but make the decision on your own, specially if you are handling the kids by yourself. Remember the story of the man, the boy and the donkey ? Don't do that to yourself. You know your child best. So go with what you think is best for them.
And there's my lesson number 4
You are the best decision maker for your child

I have had two left feet since the day I was born. Add to that a terrible self consciousness and you have a person who won't shake a leg in public even in a 'do or be shot dead' situation. Then along came Naisha. Not only does she love to dance but also 'dance with mama'. On my first dandiya night with them I handed her the dandiyas and took up my normal position at the periphery. But hey she dragged me in. I tried to hand her over to my dancer friends.. oh I've got plenty of those and they've always been grateful for my presence for who else would click pictures if all of us danced? But getting back to Naisha, she did a couple of rounds and came back to get me. Not only was I supposed to dance but also I had to be right there in the centre circle.
That was a nightmare. But her happiness was priceless. And so I made a complete fool of myself, injured a couple of women (who immediately widened the circle) to hoots of laughter from my friends. But I did stick it out there. This might seem like lesson number 3 but after a while I found myself laughing too along with my friends...
and my kids taught me lesson number 5...
Sometimes it's fun to let go

Here's my list of five mommy bloggers.. take up the tag guys. I know you're busy but I'd love to hear your take so write even if it's just 5 lines each.

Smitha
Whiny mom
Archana
Moni
Nisha

8 comments:

  1. Awesome post OM!!!
    Agree on each and every point!!
    You've put down the bet points so succintly!!
    My favorite - "Happiness comes cheap"
    So, SO true :)
    Thanks for sharing :)

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  2. Very well put. Made an interesting read even for non mommies!!

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  3. I need ot start a tag for the MEN :) he he he

    but i liked your post ..



    Bikram's

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  4. @momofrs, Sings: Thanks :-)
    @Bikram: Go ahead do it. I actually thought of tagging a new dad too, but then thought I'd keep it to the mommies.

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  5. That was such a beautiful post! And I found myself nodding away at all your points - so so relevant. Will take up this tag. It has been pending for a while now.

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  6. Lovely!! Kept nodding in agreement OM.
    Loved the way you've put it across :)

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  7. Thanks Priya... those lessons have been learnt the hard way.. it's easy to remember now:-)

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