Sunday, April 01, 2012

Matchmaker matchmaker

Thanks to a challenge thrown by a blogger friend, Pooja aka Princess Poo, on Indiblogger I am taking a break from obsessive mothering to give some thought to my marriage. And this one doesn't even involve The Husband. Exciting or what?

Her challenge: If you had the chance to MARRY anyone in the world. ANYONE. Then whom would you marry? And why?

Yippppeeee.... Shah Rukh Khan ... is my first thought. Corny, I know. However, SRK and I do go back a long way. I've loved him longer than I've even known The Husband. He IS the most romantic person on screen, you have to admit. He's cute and he seems like a good guy. SRK in glasses with a powder-blue sweater flung over his back, SRK with his sexy dimpled smile and S-shaped eye brows, SRK running in slow mo in the mist covered Swiss mountains... Mist.. or errrr... is that smoke from the cigarette perpetually dangling from his lips? Ugh.. .. a man who smokes is SUCH a let down. He smells awful, brings on the cough in me and would make Hrit wheeze (That's the OM - she just can't keep quiet). No thank you sir I'll pass.

Maybe Miss Garewal can help. She's the one who made that list right, India's Most Desirable? Let's see there's Ranbir, Ranvir, Yuvraj, Siddharth .... No, no, no and no again. Some are party animals, some mama's boys. And, they're boys.. the whole crowd, way too young.

Hmmm.. the world of glamour's not for me. Let me look elsewhere. How about .... Baba Ramdev? Weird? Well, I may not be able to decide whether he's a crusader or a crook but we do have the fitness thing in common. Picture this... early morning, cool breeze, chirping birds, rising sun... there we sit, Baba and I, in perfect sync, doing our kapalbhatis, with our concave abs showing to perfection. Did I say 'early morning'? Ruled out then. Nothing can get me out of bed early, nothing ("other than sending the kids to school, of course," chimes in OM). So excuse me Baba, it's a no.

A yogi's really not my style. Surely 'love' needs to figure somewhere. The man has to have a heart.. bingo.. got it. Healthcliff (of Wuthering Heights, NOT the cat, in case you were wondering). Heathcliff's all heart. Romantic, intense, passionate.  Life with him would be ... tempestuous. Umm.. would it be just a tad too stormy for a gentle Capricornian? I mean I do want the guy to love me and all that but I certainly do not fancy him chasing me around the moors at night driving me to my death. *Shudder, shudder* Won't do.

A gentler soul then. Someone who watches from a distance and steps in quietly to ease away your troubles. Fitzwilliam Darcy. He's rich too and gorgeous to boot. We'd walk around Pemberley hand in hand while he'd tell me "the pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in a pretty woman can bestow". Ooooh how he made my heart beat in my teens. The strong silent one.

Ummm... 'silent'.

Well... just a thought... if I HAVE to go for silent what's wrong with The Husband? He's silent when he watches the tele. He's silent when the kids are creating a ruckus. Heck he's even silent when I'M creating a ruckus. I mean 'silent' is what describes him to the T (unless you talk about things on wheels).

He'd rather get me fruits than flowers and prefers his kachoris to the kapalbhati, but better a known devil than an unknown one. Right? Besides, not for nothing have I spent a decade and a half training him. He's getting there. He hasn't forgotten my birthday for the last two years and even remembered to get me a gift. Another few years and the flowers shall follow.

Did you guys notice how he crept up quietly into my post? That's exactly how he's wormed his way in my life.... and there he'll stay. No space for anyone else then... sigh!

The Husband it is. He's the one I'd choose.

Edited to add: Happy April Fool's Day. No, this has absolutely nothing to do with the post above.


  1. You have lot to choose from.

  2. Hehehe :) This is such an cute post :). Loved it jhi :D :).
    Cute awesome and lovely :).
    Aah! Back to THE HUSBAND again ah? :)
    Hope you both have a happy life :) <3

  3. Besides, not for nothing have I spent a decade and a half training him... :)

  4. Hahaha.. smiled at every choice ;).. and the last one was total Awww of course !!

    Interesting question, but you have answered it even more interestingly :).

  5. @Rajesh: Well I had the world to choose from :-)
    @PP: Yup TH it is.. Thanks.
    @Sugeeth: Now you know why Indian women ask for the same husband for seven janams.. it's the training.
    @Aparna: Thanks.

  6. A nice take, loved the way you ended it all! A truly wonderful read as always! :)

  7. yes .. I loved the last few lines

    all the people above you mentioned are what media has made us believe they are not what they are behind the closed doors for sure ..

    and the HUSBAND he is the MAN :) for sure


  8. @Snigs: Thanks:-D
    @Bikarm: Old man more likely..

  9. well old or young .. he is THE MAN :)


  10. Its high time we changed the obsolete and cliched - "Sati Savitri" expression. Its time we moved on to "Pati Pavitra's" ;)

  11. @Sugeeth.. how about having them both?

  12. ha ha :) Though the end was a little disappointing, by sticking with The Husband.

  13. Subhadra... I know but we're stuck... old habits you see, die hard. :-D

  14. :) so the perfect match it is!

    loved the way you ripped through all your suitors!!


  15. @OM: I can co-relate with TH on one of your issues. I still don't know why women like flowers? Atleast Fruits can be eaten :).. Choclates can be another nice alternative.. :) :)

    Ok.. Thodi ther ke liye Flowers khushboo hogi.. uske baath.. it will wither and die naa.. What will you do then? Throw it in the dust bin.. only naa? Isn't that hurting of a love symbol?

    Shouldn't symbols of romance be long lasting than just a few hours? Okie.. even if women had a strong feeling of like to a particular fragrance.. then the men can always buy them some perfume of the same fragrance..

    Just my thoughts :(

  16. I read alot of blogs today, but this is by far the best. At the risk of sounding corny, even girly {shudder}, this is very cute! (there I said it, no longer can I face the Alpha Male Association) :(

    But really, adorable post Tulika!

  17. Tulika, this post was amusing! Loved how you write -tongue in cheek!
    Thank you for stopping by my blog to comment on the kid-made newspaper post. :)
    following you, too.

  18. @Magiceye: Now that you say it I'm beginning to feel a bit guilty.. I do love them all you know, barring the baba.
    @Sugeeth: Quit the argument and just get your wife some flowers and watch her expression.
    @Neeraj: Wow that's quite a compliment, thanks. Guess you didn't get to the right blogs.
    @Rashmie: Thanks.. you have a lovely place.

  19. This was cute I must say !!!But a nice take and amusing too !! Keep writing !

  20. Hey thanks Rahul.. hope I can keep writing for ever.

  21. Very cute post!!! Even at one point of time in my school days I was madly in love with SRK but yes its the media who has made SRK and we don't know who the real SRK is. Last line is very good...

    Bad or Good, young or old... husband is the man of the life :)

    Keep writing

  22. @Ruchita: SRK is actually quite cool... but not marriageable. he he.

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