Monday, August 27, 2012

Devil's advocate

I refuse to be diplomatic on this one. When it's about love marriage versus arranged marriage, the choice is clear -- arranged marriage for sure.

Don't believe me.. believe Shakespeare... will you? Wasn't it his beautiful Jessica in Merchant of Venice who said "Love is blind and lovers cannot see..."?

He said it..... Love is blind.

 Would you make the most important decision of your life blindly?

Think Shakespeare is old fashioned? Believe the Discovery Channel? Here read this..
A study by Rutgers University biological anthropologist Helen Fisher and colleagues examined the brain scans of men and women reported truly, madly in love. Each of the images showed the same activity in the brain’s reward system as that which occurs in the brain of a cocaine addict.

Yup.. that's what addicts think they are...

... that, my friends is the real deal
That's right .. cocaine addict!!! Would you make the decision of your life under the influence of cocaine?

I rest my case.

I, of course had an arranged marriage... the whole deal. Sari perfectly draped, tray in hand, laden with mere haath ke bane samose and steaming chai, that's how I made my entry. One bite of the samosa and The Husband nodded out an emphatic 'Yes'. No one knows to date, whether it was for the marriage or the samosa. Both, I hope.

It's been over two decades and he continues to love the samosas of my hometown, which he later discovered, were bought from the neighbourhood halwai. What? Cheating? Oh so now you'll get all righteous and carp about one tiny samosa. What about those hundreds of lies people in love tell each other? The whole tare tor laoonga bit and the duniya se ladoonga promise, then there's the tripe about sab kuchh chhor doongi, mujhe paisa nahin chahiye. Lies.. all of it.

In fact, I think one should go a step ahead and opt for child marriages. For one there's the obvious advantage of the girl adapting to the ways of her new home. Also, she learns to love her new family like her old one. I mean no matter how horrible our siblings are or how eccentric our parents are we still love them, don't we? Well that's how she'll be with her husband and in-laws. Perfect recipe for a happy life. Right?

Doesn't happen in today's times, you think. Don't you watch television? Haven't you seen our own Anandi raking in the TRPs? And here's an instance from real life.

That's 5 year old Khalid and 3 year old Hala, on their engagement;contentBody

Had my parents had the foresight to marry me off young I might not have needed that halwai at all. I'd have made perfect samosas, just the way mom-in-law makes them, just the way The Husband likes them and my life's ambition would have been complete. Foresight -- that's what my parents lacked. I spent years and years slogging, studying, working but what's the point? Can I get the samosa right? Nope.


While we're on this.. suitable alliances are invited for a strapping 6 year old boy and a delicate 6 year old girl. Send in with photo.

Thank You

Disclaimer: This is completely a work of fiction. Any resemblance to people dead or alive is merely coincidental. Oh the bit about inviting matches is true.. just wait for another 20 years, though.

This post is part of the raging controversy between love and arranged marriages. For more points of view go here .


  1. Lol! Loved your take!!

    Best wishes for the contest!!

  2. hahaha..way to go! all the best for the contest :-)

  3. lol!! I too had a arrgd mrrg and after a little hiccups am happy :)

    Child mrrg? lol!

  4. hehehaha :D

  5. Thanks magiceye.
    Uma: Thank you.
    Smita: :-D
    Noopur: Thanks for hopping over. Will drop by.

  6. Hello. :-)

    Interesting points you made out here. I think it is rather an issue for all those who 'need' to get married that such a question arises. I don't see any problem for a person in going for an arranged marriage as long as that person is not me. The simple reason being, I don't 'need' to get married. I would rather marry someone whom I feel I should be with. :-)

    My first time on your blog. All the best for the contest. :-)

  7. i loved the samosa part///nice one .
    best of luck for the contest

  8. You have a knack for comedy..! I liked the samosa part. All the best :)

  9. Shobhit thanks for dropping by. Don;t you need to be with someone who can make awesome samosas?? ;-).
    @Gunjan: Thanks:-)
    Ghazala: That's a compliment I like.. thank you.

  10. And I thought I was cynical!!! Loved the sarcasm and couldn't stop laughing at the samosa story. And yes, if its ok with you, I'd like to send in a photo of a highly energetic 5 year old boy - (if the lil girl can churn out good samosas, that is) :-). Awesome post!

  11. Oopsie.. will start teaching her right away. You hang on for a while :-D.

  12. I hear you loud and clear .. :)

    the thing is both love-arranged lead to one common part marriage .. so what happenes after marriage should be common toooo :)

    I loved the way you started this article with shakespeare and all :)


  13. Great take. I like the way you mixed your thoughts with bit of humor. Good Luck for the contest. :)

  14. @bikram: Not true...actually no two marriages are alike, whether they're love or arranged.
    Arindam: Thank you.. those are not necessarily my thoughts. I was just having some fun.

  15. After reading your take, anyone would be inclined to arranged marriage. You have white washed our minds with those facts...

    What about love which was arranged with approval from all sides???

    Very refreshing, enjoyed and loved reading it.

    Best of Luck for the contest!!! :)

  16. I am inclined to vote towards love marriage, simply because arrange marriage appears like buying potatoes from grocery shop.

    Keep in mind, I have the record of breakage of 10 years relationship based on love from her part or unknown things. At time I am writing, my parents are still not aware that their would be daughter in law is already some others' daughter in law.

    I am inclined to vote towards love marriage. I could have take a sharp 180 degree turn. Because I have logics behind. Simply take my real example. It broken just few months before the happening of weeding. May be she felt that I am over all good but she can not accomodate rightly. If the 'feeling' came after getting married, that would be more pathetic.

  17. Saru: Arranged love.. that's the best kind.

    Abhishek: Kudos for your positive approach. Hope you'll find some one special soon.

  18. Hey OM awesome post. Loved the samosa part. My love was also arranged and still feeling blessed. I would send a future alliance but I am scared she might be too much for anyone to handle. (no samosa making girl this, I am afraid) :)
    On a different note,I hope some over zealous social workers types don't start agitating against the post for promoting child marriages. :0

  19. Swapna: Yikes.. I never thought about an agitation. Fingers crossed :-D.
    I don't think I'll be looking for a samosa girl.. provided of course my son gives me the option of 'looking' in the first place!

  20. the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.. so i guess the samosa won in the end :D


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