An interview: Getting Up Close and Personal with my friend 'Monday'
Me: Hey there Good Morning Monday.
Monday (Stumbling out of deep slumber): What? What? Is it my turn already?
Me: Hey No, chill, it's just Wednesday.
Monday (Falling back on his bed and sounding very annoyed): What are you doing then, waking me up? Can't a man have some peace even on off days.
Me: Oops sorry there. It's just that I had to turn in a piece on you and I thought I'd get an interview.
Monday: An interview?? Like I'm a celeb or what?
Me: Um.. actually I googled you and all I found were loads of caricatures saying nasty things about you. I thought I'd get your perspective on this whole Monday Blues, Manic Monday thing.
Monday (Snorting): Oh I know your journo type. You'll pretend to be all nice and fair and I- want-your-side-of-the-story, all Simi Garewalish. Then you'll just go out and turn into an Arnab Goswami and write a sarcy, nasty piece. You know how people interview Mallika Sherawat then make fun of her accent, or get a starlet to deny an affair and then put the ‘just friends’ in quotes like this. So no Thank You. I’m good.
Me: You’ve got it all wrong. Trust me. I’m a friend. For the record I’m not a Monday hater. Never have been. We work in shifts.. My off days have varied from Wednesdays to Saturdays so my Mondays haven’t been Mondays at all, at least not the much maligned Mondays. I’m the most neutral person you’re ever likely to get to tell your story to.
Monday (Disappearing back under the sheets): Story? I have no story to tell. Nighty night.
Me: Come on Monday. Don’t get all cynical.
Monday (Emerging from the covers): Gosh but you’re persistent. Oh alright since I’m awake anyway, fire away.
Me (trying to look all friendly and grateful): Thanks thanks Mon.. may I call you Mon?
Monday (Still grumpy): Whatever! Get on with it, will you.
Me: So Mon you seem to be the most universally hated day of the week. How do you feel?
Mon (Smirking): You sure are original! Really the journo type – the type who thrusts a mike in the face of a man stuck in a manhole and asks him, “So Sir how do you feel?” How do I feel???? For godsake how would you feel? How would anyone feel? Being maligned for no reason at all. Had it not been for me would anything get done anywhere in the world barring a few countries? Is it my fault that people refuse to give up their bingeing and partying even after two whole days and nights and are then hung over all of me? Is it my fault that the funnest days come right before me? How would you feel when Saturday and Sunday strut about right behind you with their “We’re the most popular days” faces? And you know the irony? No one would even look at them had it not been for me. So much for their lording it over the rest of us! But do I tell them that? No I don’t. Like I said I’m a peaceful guy. I do my day’s worth and then snuggle up and sleep unless I’m invaded by you journo types.
Me: Hey what’s this 'journo type' you keep going on about? I’m on your side, remember? So you think people have been unfair to you?
Mon: Of course they’ve been unfair. But then life, my friend is unfair. Being in a place like me turns a guy philosophical. God made us all the same. It’s you who turned us into super Sundays and monster Mondays. Did I tell you to work like Zombies without stopping to enjoy yourself? Is it my fault you get yourselves caught in jobs you hate?
Me: So what advice would you like to give our readers?
Mon: I’m not one for advising anyone. All I’ll say is STOP THE HATE. Give yourself a break if you want to.. even if it’s a Monday. Then get back to work. In fact, how about reserving one happy thing for a Monday? Make it a mazedaar Monday.. will you? Love your job and you’ll find you love me too. Love me and see how your life changes.
And now may I just go back to bed?
That dear readers was 'Monday' for you. I've been forbidden from putting any caricatures that perpetuate the myth that Mondays are anything but mazedaar so this post goes pictureless.