Wednesday, September 24, 2014

7 reasons being a bad cook is cool

I'm no cook. It was only after I had the twins that I tried any kind of cooking. I mastered the art of making the perfect bottle of milk (Hey it's not easy okay, the temperature has to be just so and the amount of powder all measured and the water just that much). I learnt to dish out a mean Cerelac too. 

As the kids grew so did my cooking repertoire. Stewed apples, soups, khichdis, kheers - I learnt them all moving onto idlis and dosas. Then a few years back, unable to find a decent cook, the entire chore fell to me. I went about it in a pretty scientific manner balancing out the carbs, proteins, vitamins and minerals. The only casualty I presume, was 'taste'. But I persisted, to The Husband's dismay and continued dissatisfaction. 

That pretty much summed up our situation.

The kids of course knew no better since they'd been brought up on my cooking all along. They plied me with compliments as they crunched up cakes as hard as biscuits and happily ate up my lopsided chapatis

Sometimes I wondered if N grows up to be a famous actress (which is her current ambition) and some inane paper like apna ToI asks her for a favourite dish and she says (with that world-weary air typical of celebrities), 'I love ghar ka khana. Specially my mum's watery lauki with her special burnt-aroma rice.' Would that be a cringe-worthy moment for me or one of pride? 

Ummm... I'm not sure at all.

But I'm rambling. The thing is recently, fed up with the daily chore, I finally got a cook again and what bliss it has been. Check out the top seven reasons why being a bad cook works for me.

1. The most obvious one of course - you get to hire a cook and are free to do more reading or writing or just about anything else.

2. You are playing your part in boosting the economy by providing employment.

3. When you have a cook and the food is not so good, instead of going in defensive mode you can shake your head like the rest of the family and before anyone else can say it you pipe up, "Someone really needs to talk to the cook." (without any intention whatsoever of doing it of course. You do not want to annoy her now, do you?) And when she does a good job you puff up your chest with pride and say, "It's an art you know, finding the perfect cook."

4. When you do make something decent it's such happiness. Even after having made hundreds of dosas over the past years, when the batter spreads out perfectly and comes off without sticking It's like a miracle unfolding. Watching that chapati puff up makes you feel like a total domestic goddess, each and every time.

5. Then there's everyone else's sense of awe and wonder when you land that perfect dish once in a long long while.

6. Your cool aprons always remain spotless because all you've done in them is mixed the salad.

7. You never take anyone else's cooking for granted and hence are a favourite dinner guest at all your friends' parties.

So are you the 'cooking' kind or the 'get-a-cook' kind?

24 comments:

  1. I so needed to read this today. Had a great laugh! Thanks Tulika :D

    Oh and I think I should get that quote on a t-shirt for my husband ;)

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  2. LOL :D That was a fun read. I am the cooking kind though would love to change the situation to 'get-a-cook' :D

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    Replies
    1. You're the cook-because-I-have-no-choice kind then.

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  3. LOL, how fun! I am thankful to have a cook too - my husband! He does a great job of it. :)

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  4. That was hilarious, Tulika! I wouldn't say I'm a bad cook but I'm not a good one either. Somewhere in between. I have my failures and flops for sure. Thanks for a good laugh. I'm sure you're not as bad as you say.

    http://cattitudeandgratitude.blogspot.ca/2014/09/ten-years-later.html

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    1. Guess we're all somewhere in the middle.. but I'm definitely more bad than good.

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  5. In NZ and Australia it is pretty rare for anyone to have a cook. I personally love to cook, especially with my children. Cleaning up afterwards is the bit I loathe!

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    Replies
    1. Your name says it all MTM. And I agree, cleaning up's the worst part.

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  6. Haha loved this Tulika!! :) I am bit of both...just love to cook/experiment on the weekends otherwise totally dependent on my cook!

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  7. Oh I'm not at all the cooking kind..I hate cooking...But I'm not able to get a good cook! Can you lend me yours Tulika ? ;)

    Random Thoughts Naba...Welcome Fall!......

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    Replies
    1. What?? You want to condemn my Husband to my cooking?

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  8. Great read, Tulika! I love having a cook in India, and I have learned so many recipes from her. In Europe it is not common to have a cook, so not really a choice. I am like Winnie The Poo - yes to both: I like to cook (when I dont HAVE to), and like to have a cook (when I can) :)

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    1. 'When I don't have to' is the keyword Eli.

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  9. I like to cook when I feel like and not because of compulsion so having a cook works out for me. Loved the piece - could identify with most of what you've written. I'm not a bad cook but the thought of doing it everyday is unbearable!

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    1. That's it. The moment it's a compulsion it's a pain.

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  10. //because all you've done in them is mixed the salad.// hahahaha I laughed so hard at this coz that's exactly what I did when I was young. My dad had bought two aprons for me and my sis and guess whose was as good as new :P
    Enjoyed reading the post :D

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  11. :) right now i am wondering How will i afford a cook here ...

    Bikram

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  12. OMG Tulika, I can't tell you how much I relate to this post. Especially the part about the kids not knowing any better, I say that all the time as well :D. Thanks for a lot of laughs, and making me wonder why I'm so badly amiss on my blog reading :(. Blame it on my sporadic writing as well, all of which I'm hoping to repair shortly.

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