The holidays have begun. Yay! Freedom from the early morning rush, the tussle over breakfast, the struggle with homework, the hurry-hurry-hurry. We intend to sleep in, go for long walks, cook and craft and read and watch films together.
This academic year has been exceptionally hard on all of us and I've done more than my share of yelling. Now's the time to make up for all of that. Everything else will wait now - work, freelancing, even blogging to some extent - everything. I intend to be the funnest mama ever this summer - no rules, no yelling.
However, day one of the holidays and I am already wondering if that is even possible. I have a bunch of mums living inside me counselling and debating and struggling to assert themselves. They all have different takes on how I should handle the kids. I wrote earlier about the struggle between Sane Mum and Mushy Mum here. This time round it's the Fun Mum (the one who believes kids should just have fun) and the Evil Mum (the strict disciplinarian) fighting it out. If you would ever stumble upon them you might hear a conversation such as this one...
Fun Mum: Yay holidays! Disappear now, will you?
Evil Mum: Noooo you don't mean that.
FM: Of course I mean it. I love my babies, I intend to show them just how much. We're going to have fun together.
EM (stubbornly): Well, they're my babies too and I love them, perhaps more than you. You'll spoil them silly. I'm the one who looks out for them. I'm not leaving.
FM: They deserve to be spoiled once in a while. It's the holidays for goodness sake. You've done your thing. Your time's up. See you in June.
EM: I thought you'd planned to help them catch up with their studies during summer.
FM: I do remember very well, thank you. And we SHALL do that but in a FUN way. No slogging, no yelling. Leave now, please.
EM (A trifle slyly): You sure you won't need me? Two months is a long time.
FM: Sure, certain, positive.
EM (Pretending to leave): Well then perhaps I'll take a holiday. God knows I need it. By the way I do hope you have a plan on how you'll handle the endless TV watching, the iPad madness, the bickering and the fighting, the refusal to switch off the light at night. I'm sure you have a FUN plan. Goodluck. Ciao.
FM (Flustered): Err umm.. wait on, will you.
EM: Let me see.. Mussourie sounds good this summer or should I head South?
FM: Hey wait, maybe you can hang on at the fringes and show up just once in a while?
EM: What? You requesting me to stay? Sure, certain, positive?
FM (Petulantly): ALL RIGHT I'm sorry. Guess we can't really do without you. But stay out of sight. I'll call you when I need you.
EM: Works for me. (Linking hands with FM) We make the perfect couple, you and I.
FM (Agreeing reluctantly): I guess so. They do need us both.
Edited to add: As it turned out the kids fell ill right on day 1. Both EM and FM have retired to some sorry corner to wait out their turn while Mushy Mum and Fussy Mum have taken over completely.
Labels: Evil Mum. humour I hope, Fun Mum, Holidays, Mommy wars, Parenting