Friday, April 10, 2015

Mommy wars

The holidays have begun. Yay! Freedom from the early morning rush, the tussle over breakfast, the struggle with homework, the hurry-hurry-hurry. We intend to sleep in, go for long walks, cook and craft and read and watch films together.

This academic year has been exceptionally hard on all of us and I've done more than my share of yelling. Now's the time to make up for all of that. Everything else will wait now - work, freelancing, even blogging to some extent - everything. I intend to be the funnest mama ever this summer - no rules, no yelling.

However, day one of the holidays and I am already wondering if that is even possible. I have a bunch of mums living inside me counselling and debating and struggling to assert themselves. They all have different takes on how I should handle the kids. I wrote earlier about the struggle between Sane Mum and Mushy Mum here. This time round it's the Fun Mum (the one who believes kids should just have fun) and the Evil Mum (the strict disciplinarian) fighting it out. If you would ever stumble upon them you might hear a conversation such as this one...


Fun Mum: Yay holidays! Disappear now, will you?
Evil Mum: Noooo you don't mean that.
FM: Of course I mean it. I love my babies, I intend to show them just how much. We're going to have fun together.
EM (stubbornly): Well, they're my babies too and I love them, perhaps more than you. You'll spoil them silly. I'm the one who looks out for them. I'm not leaving.
FM: They deserve to be spoiled once in a while. It's the holidays for goodness sake. You've done your thing. Your time's up. See you in June.
EM: I thought you'd planned to help them catch up with their studies during summer.
FM: I do remember very well, thank you. And we SHALL do that but in a FUN way. No slogging, no yelling. Leave now, please.
EM (A trifle slyly): You sure you won't need me? Two months is a long time.
FM: Sure, certain, positive.
EM (Pretending to leave): Well then perhaps I'll take a holiday. God knows I need it. By the way I do hope you have a plan on how you'll handle the endless TV watching, the iPad madness, the bickering and the fighting, the refusal to switch off the light at night. I'm sure you have a FUN plan. Goodluck. Ciao.
FM (Flustered): Err umm.. wait on, will you.
EM: Let me see.. Mussourie sounds good this summer or should I head South?
FM: Hey wait, maybe you can hang on at the fringes and show up just once in a while?
EM: What? You requesting me to stay? Sure, certain, positive?
FM (Petulantly): ALL RIGHT I'm sorry. Guess we can't really do without you. But stay out of sight. I'll call you when I need you.
EM: Works for me. (Linking hands with FM) We make the perfect couple, you and I.
FM (Agreeing reluctantly): I guess so. They do need us both.

Edited to add: As it turned out the kids fell ill right on day 1. Both EM and FM have retired to some sorry corner to wait out their turn while Mushy Mum and Fussy Mum have taken over completely.

20 comments:

  1. Aww, I can totally empathise and I think you need to cut yourself some slack, darling. It's already a but rough, from the sounds of it, so send EM off on a holiday and let the Fussy mom take over. The twins will love it all the more. Hope H and N are getting better now!

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    1. Thanks Shailaja. Life seems better already with one of them getting better. It shall be Fussy Mum all the way for some days for sure.

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  2. Loved reading this conversation Tulika, in my case on most days it feels like Fun Mum is the one on holiday :P. Hope your babies feel better soon, lots of get well wishes coming their way!

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    1. Thanks Aparna. My FM too is often far far away. It's just that since the holidays started I need her to keep my sanity.

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  3. Oh! Best wishes and good health to all of you. It is such an interesting read. Don't we all love the fun mom! Take it easy, time will fly.

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    1. Sure we all love her but we forget to bring her out often.

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  4. True, FM and EM need to co-exist. :D Hope the kids are better now. Take care and let FM rule with very little help from EM :D

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    1. Yeah that's the plan Shilpa. Thanks, the kids are better.

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  5. Best wishes and loved the conversation :) haha.. fm and em both are needed :)

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    1. They sure are. Thanks for dropping by.

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  6. I can see how mothering would have both aspects of fun and discipline as I think there would be a happy medium. Good luck with the discipline while having fun with your kids! :) <3

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    1. Thanks Elly. Parenting is seriously tough.

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  7. Being a mom is a mixed ball of tricks isn't it? We just finished spring break and have another 9 weeks to go until we can officially enjoy summer break. I am looking forward to it, and at the same time it will be bittersweet because my daughter's days in junior high will be over and she will be off to the high school in the fall.

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    1. Whew - 2 months of hard work and then she'll be gone! That's hard.

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  8. Loved to read the conversation. I think that EM & FM need to co-exist. At-least for me that is the only way I stay sane. :) Hope the kids are doing better now.

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    1. The kids are much better, thank you. Yes - we do need them both and a few days into the holidays I've realised I need EM way more than FM.

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  9. Hahaha - that was a funny read - can imagine those two mini-mums- sitting on t\your shoulder debating..:-) Enjoy your holiday dear:-)

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    1. Hee Hee - thanks Eli. That's just how I feel somedays.

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  10. Aww! I can see how both Mums want the best yet can't do on their own ;) Thanks for getting me here. Looks like I had missed this post during summers :)

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    1. Thanks Parul - they do complement each other.

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