Sunday, August 30, 2015

A rant

Do you have days when nothing seems to be coming together? When you wake up each morning with a fresh resolve for a cheerful day and watch the resolve done and dead within a few hours? When the kids just won't stop whining? When every interaction with them is a struggle? When, just as you fix one situation, another one is upon you? 

It's been a bit like that over the last week or two. The twins have been down with a bunch of real and imagined ailments. That I am not able to figure out which is which is driving me crazy.



First H complained of throat pain. Over the evening it escalated, and by night time he was wringing his hands and crying out each time he swallowed. After a panicked phone call to my doctor SIL I rushed out to buy medicine. As I got back I heard him singing, yes singing out loud, loud enough to be heard outside the house. And it has returned each night - the hand wringing and the moaning hasn't stopped despite my threats and pleadings. 

Then it was N's turn. She complained of a headache. Do kids have headaches? Anyway, since she rarely falls ill, I assumed she just wanted a day at home (since H had called in sick a few days back) and I went along with it. She stayed home, read, drew, coloured, crafted and cycled through the day and seemed all fine till evening. And then the 'ache' was back moving to her stomach accompanied with 'nausea' ('every time I eat I feel like puking') and loss of appetite. Back I was to the SIL wondering if the vague symptoms indicated jaundice till I ruled it out.


That's how it's been between the two of them.

Do I sound over-anxious? Yeah, I do, even to myself. But at that point their illnesses seem very real and very worrisome. I wonder if kids have any clue how their vague and casual complaints leave mums stressed.


And then there are mosquitoes....


Many nights in a row H has been waking me up because he hears a 'buzz'. He's mortally scared of mosquitoes - scared, not annoyed like the rest of us. I've tried everything - from repellent gadgets to creams. He has always been a mosquito magnet but I'm beginning to think the buzz is more in his head than anywhere else. Each night he walks into my room at ungodly hours, shutting doors and windows till I suffocate, screaming if he hears a buzz and then falling asleep leaving me waiting for the alarm so I can get on with my day. 


Mornings find me irritable with a body ache that refuses to go. I am unable to go to the gym which means hanging out at home feeling horribly fat and cranky (Ugh!). I resent every phone call, every knock at the door, even the maid - anything that comes between me and my shut eye, which just doesn't happen. It's a bit like I was back to their baby years with the sleep starvation.


I've been wondering if it's that's what making me over-anxious. After all the kids couldn't have changed overnight. I should be used to their myriad illnesses.  I AM used to them. I could always figure out the real from the fake. Now I just cannot seem to.


This is unusual too - this rant. I do not usually rant unless I have a physical person sitting in front of me - when I bug the h*** out of them - someone from my list of 'privileged' few :-). Unfortunately  that hasn't been possible and you have had to bear the brunt of it. 


On a positive note the discovery of the day has been that a good bath seems to wash away a lot of my crabbiness. Highly recommended for bad days when everything seems to be going wrong. That and a change in schedule seems to make me feel better.

As a new week comes up I have my fingers crossed.

27 comments:

  1. Awww, you poor thing! I can totally empathise with you. Gy does have her share of imaginary aches but with two on hand, you literally seem to be tearing your hair out! For what it's worth , I hope things settle down soon and you can feel better enough to head to the gym this week. Much love and hugs coming your way and lots of health bytes to the twins. May they be up and running again :)

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    1. Thanks Shailaja. Things are already much better. Cheerful post coming up soon :-)

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  2. I know it is scary and sad at the same time. But hang in there. Hope they get well soon! And about cribbing here in the blog, where else will you do that! I find myself ranting a lot on my blog these days. Makes me feel good for a while at least :P Take care!!

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    1. Yeah thanks Shalini, this did make me feel better.

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  3. I have been on the guilty side, driving mum mad with imaginary headache... well I got my share of Dhulai after she figured out it was drama. I hope it's just a phase and would be gone soon. Tight hugs to you!!

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    1. Don't do that to your mum. You have no idea the kind of worrisome thoughts that take over. And thanks for the hugs :-).

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  4. Sounds like you were due a rant. Poor thing, sometimes you just got to get it out...then you are able to face it once again in a better frame of mind. Hugs. This too shall pass.

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  5. Totally happens and a bath relieves me too :) Hugs, and this week will be wonderful.

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    1. Thanks Parul it's turning out much better.

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  6. Guess what? My kids complain about imaginary ailments too. My trick? I take away their privileges like TV or crafts or books snd order them to stay in bed. If they are genuinely ill, they give in and lie down. But mostly, as soon as I take away the privileges, they immediately claim that they are "getting better" even as we speak ����. Hope it helps ��

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    1. Hey thanks Noor. Good to see you here. When are getting back to your space?

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  7. I am sure i left a comment :( I need to rant now ..

    it will be fine soon and soon they will be running all over :) take care


    Bikram's

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  8. I can empathize with your situation. Hope all the imaginary and real pains and aches are behind the kids and they are fit and fine. Hugs to you, T, and here's wishing you a great week and a super month! Cheers ♥

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    1. Thanks thanks Shilpa. Guess all the positive vibes from here spilt over into my week. Feeling good.

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  9. Oh my... what a day sweetie...Can imagine that bath did you good:-) A time out (positive one) for mums is totally necessary from time to time. Hope they are ok now. Big hugs :-)

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    1. Much better Eli but the regular blogging has yet to begin.

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  10. Aww Tulika... Hang in there, dear. This mommy business is hard, real hard. As of now most of D's ailments are imaginary. There are very few real ones, and they are clearly distinguishable as he just cries and doesn't tell me about them. The imaginary ones get a lot of attention by him.

    But my aunt used to face this dilemma with my younger cousins, and she used to just take away privileges. For e.g. If you stay home sick, then no TV, and no fried food, just dal, rice and boiled veggies, no playing out etc etc. The list of restrictions was long. That normally did the trick.

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    1. Hmm... seems like the only sensible thing to do. But they're getting better thank goodness.

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  11. Well if u can't rant at your own blog!!!! N I he jus started realizing Bihar kids falling sick is a new dimension

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    1. A nEw dimension of worrying! Hugs tulikA

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    2. Thanks Mina. Enjoy your little one till he's still unspoilt.

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  12. Well, I don't have any advice on this front (but I did read the post completely). :) Take care and be positive, I guess.

    Also, the highly recommended thing is a wonderful thing indeed. I've realized that with experience.

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    1. Thanks for reading Vinay - rants can get tiresome.

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  13. That sounds pretty miserable for you and I absolutely empathize. Is it possible that they just want extra attention for some reason?! In any case, I do hope things are sorted out for you soon!

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    1. They are better thanks Roshni. Agree with you on the attention bit. Their dad's been away for some time and I realised it might have something to do with that!

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