Monday, September 21, 2015

Babies still

Monday mornings are a drag. Since the husband moved out of the city for work, they've become worse. It's sad when he can’t fly home for the weekend; it's sadder when he does. He leaves early in the morning and the kids wake up to find him gone. Today, N who seems to be extra sensitive to his departure, woke up unusually cranky and reluctant. Despite my efforts to cheer her up she seemed determined to pull us all down. With less than five hours of sleep I was near snapping point.

However, when she said she was too tired to get up I simply picked her up and carried her to the washroom. It had been a long time since I had carried her and the ‘hug’ felt good. Mercifully, even at nine years, she’s yet not too heavy for me, this little one of mine. (H almost knocks me over when he clambers on, which he does often).


She seemed to cheer up a bit and so I offered to give her a bath just like when she was a baby. We spent a happy ten minutes in the washroom falling back into our old old pattern, splashing water on her while she tried to wet me and I pretended to be angry.


By the time I was helping her into her clothes laughing together, she had forgotten her crankiness and so had I. She finished her breakfast ‘even faster than H’. We went down to the bus-stop happier than I could have ever hoped for.


Sometimes children just need to be babies, to be pampered silly, their tiny whims catered to. We often find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that our children are growing up. However, just as often, we take their growing up for granted. Some days it helps to remember that grown up as they seem, they are

 babies still.

Disclaimer: A post like this in no way means I'm a sane centred zen mama. Most days I'm the regular harridan. It's just that I blog about the good days because it is heartening to remember that once in a while I can avert the bad ones.

Linking up to Microblog Mondays. We're talking about space travel. Do leave your thoughts there.


36 comments:

  1. For mothers kids will always be kids however old they might be. And yes, they can do with a little TLC, anytime! Glad that the day turned out to be a happy one for all. :)

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    1. So was I Shilpa. I hate it when they go to school unhappy.

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  2. I used to do that when Vidur was cranky, Tulika. It is amazing what an overdose of tender loving care can do - for both adults and kids! Sometimes we just want to be cuddled! I admire you for being so astute! Hugs!

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    1. You are a wonderful mum Vidya. And yes love-overdose works always provided we have the patience for it.

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  3. Love this post! And such a great reminder! It hits home.

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    1. Thanks Heather. We can all do with reminders isn't it?

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  4. I agree. It doesn't matter how old our kids get, sometimes they need Mama to baby them a bit and take care of them. Everyone likes to be cuddled. That is timeless.

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    1. Right Kathy. Even adults don't mind a spot of pampering.

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  5. So glad you were able to provide the comfort she needed, when she needed. Kids get overwhelmed too.
    I trust you are finding a way to soothe yourself as well.

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    1. Thank you, I am good. Sometimes we need to try to understand why kids are behaving the way they are. It helps.

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  6. I know exactly what you mean, Tulika. V being away during the week is really hard on Gy and on me to some extent. Work keeps me busy but I realise that she needs her dad more than anything. So I now choose to be more with her and more involved with her day and it does make a difference. As for you, I think you are one of the most genuine people out there and the twins are blessed to have you for a mom.

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    1. I knew you'd understand - handling kids single handedly teaches many valuable lessons and asks for more empathy than we would have shown otherwise.

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  7. Ahh I remember sulking and being cranky when I was home once for vacation and my dad was transferred somewhere else...It was during my Engineering days , so I was not even a child then but I still felt so bad...So, I know how she must be feeling...As a child I used to stand at the door and wait for him endlessly, even at that time he was posted outside for a few years...

    Anyways, as you say children need to be pampered silly like babies at times...it helps them feel good!

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    1. No matter how old we grow we never stop missing our parents. It's just that when we are kids sometimes even we aren't exactly aware how deeply the absence affects us. It's the moms and dads who have to figure that out and offer comfort without being asked. Parenting is one crazy task.

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  8. awww that is so cute :D Some pampering does help, after all they are just "slightly bigger" babies ... it must really difficult for the kids to be away from their father, for you as well. Hugs for you :)

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    1. You're right Raj. They're just bigger kids!

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  9. Hahah.. That was a beautiful read Tulika..made me go to my childhood and how cranky I used to get when I had to be awake for school early morning!

    Well written :)

    Cheers

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    1. Oh well mornings aren't everyone's cup of tea. Definitely not mine.

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  10. Oh yes to this. I still rock the kids sometimes at night with their old night routine. Or we'll climb in the rocking chair after a long day for a cuddle. They are almost to middle school, but they are still young.

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    1. Isn't it the most wonderful feeling? I hope I can do it forever. On second thought rocking a 20 year old might not be really feasible :-D.

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  11. Pampering is welcome at all ages :)

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  12. This is so true. Sometimes when I just want to get the day started, that's the time my son wants me to fuss over him. He can get dressed on his own, but sometimes he wants to me put on every single thing for him so he can have my complete attention.

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    1. You're right they want attention and sometimes we just do not have the luxury of time. When we do, we should push ourselves a little bit and give it to them at least sometimes.

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  13. That's a sweet post,Tulika. Yes,we sometimes tend to take their growing up for granted.Trapped in the daily monotone,the precious long big hug,kooochi koo cuddling,silly giggles,crazy fun gets left out at times.But it creates some wonderful moments.And pampering,that's welcome always :).

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    1. Thanks for visiting. We could all do with this reminder.

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  14. Very cute and moving post dear Tulika. And sooo true...even the teenagers who might be hesitant to tell you what they need or that they even care....well they need more care then ever:-) Lovely post sweetie

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    1. Thanks Eli. It must be harder with teens since they seem so capable and grown up.

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  15. I love this! sometimes we all just need that little bit extra! Also I love the photo at the top because my first memory of the seashore is standing on thousands and thousands of tiny shells.

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    1. Hey thanks Torthull. That's one of my favourite pictures of the twins.

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  16. Damn! I should be able to follow blogger. Com posts and have them show up in my list. I keep missing all the fun :-(

    Such a sweet post this one. You know the biggest, like huge'est problem of my life is that i live in a lousy small suburban town in UP because my husband job keps him here. Raised in Bangalore, this place annoys the hell outta me. Its even bad for the kids, as in not good enough schools and activities. I want to and can shift to a better city nearby. But i don't because of the same thing your kids feel when their dad's away. It's heartbreaking really. My kids are very little yet, 3 and 1. But when they grow up and schooling becomes more intense i may 'have to' shift and it would be really tough for the kids. I will for you dear, it's hard doing it alone so often and its harder to watch the sad faces on the little ones..... Beautiful post... Letting them be babies. Super sweet :-)

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    1. Ooh I hear you. Bangalore to UP!! Some change, that. But you are doing right, living away from the dads is no good. Good luck for the future. Hope you guys can be together.

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  17. Gosh, i always get carried away with these boring long comments and autocorrect plays nasty tricks on me....i meant...i feel for you ;-) ;-) ;-)

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    1. Autocorrect and I are old old enemies :-).

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  18. yes yes yes .. my grnadmother still treats me like a child, and I just love it being pampered.

    bliss .. why do we have to grow up.. I want to be a child now

    Bikram's

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    1. Aww.. nobody can pamper quite like grandmoms.

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