I finally watched Dilwale. Yes that Rohit Shetty film with SRK and Kajol and the two new bachchas. It’s old news, I know. The whole world has watched it and not quite liked it too, which I might not agree with, but then that’s my own thing. I didn’t mind it except for this one issue - the issue of Kajol’s sari. But first, if you haven’t watched the film you need to know a little bit about it. I promise to keep it to five lines - brace yourself.
So Kajol and SRK belong to two warring mafia families. Point to be noted here is that Kajol is as kickass and as worthy a scion as SRK. The two fall in love. A misunderstanding crops up, Kajol shoots SRK and they go their own ways till their siblings find each other and fall in love too. After some ‘Dobara aaye to jaan le loongi' bit’s and a few sadish songs, the misunderstanding is sorted and voila! All is well (Writing this down I can get a vague idea why some people wouldn’t quite have taken to the film).
Whew! That’s exactly five lines. *Pats self on the back*.
Anyway the point I’m trying to make is this - towards the end of the film SRK’s brother is shot at by a don (yet another one) and Kajol sits there all abla nari cradling his head and yells for SRK, "Kaliiiiii……," she screams and SRK comes flying out brave and macho and well obviously, he saves the day.
Why, tell me, doesn’t she reach for her own gun? She’s as worthy a ‘donness’ or whatever she-dons are called, as he is, right? She steals the sona from him at the beginning of the film, she runs a restaurant and has some mean shots to throw when faced with a kidnapper. She’s brave and smart and wily and strong so why oh why would she scream for SRK instead of going behind the bad guys herself? Wouldn't instinct drive her to go for it herself?
And so I thought maybe it was the sari. Maybe it was the sari killed her killer instinct. Or maybe she didn’t want to spoil her look by hiding a gun in that sari. I mean a bump at her hip would have looked odd, no? Yet, one would have thought she’d have found a way given that she’d been outdone by it once earlier. Remember Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai and that basketball match? She lost to SRK, despite being the better player all because of that five meters of gorgeous georgette. Over a decade later and things haven't changed. This Senorita doesn’t learn from her mistakes.
Or maybe... she yelled for SRK because she just liked having him around, in which case it is perfectly understandable. I’d call for him all the time if I had the faintest hope he’d come. The brown eyes, the intense looks, the crooked smile that dimple to die for and the stubble … ooh the stubble.
Yeah if it's not the sari it most definitely is SRK's fault.