Thursday, December 01, 2016

Holding on - just a little longer



This weekend was cleaning up time - one of those days when the twins get down to the big task. H and N recently got new beds and have been on a bit of an overdrive to keep their room neat. Boy am I grateful! As I glanced at the sack of toys and clothes they’d set aside I found myself picking out and saving up things, quite like they pick out and save thing when I am doing the cleaning! Some weird role-reversal, this!

Have you ever found that you are more attached to some of your children's toys than they are? I discovered today that I was!

First, there is the blue-haired doll a dear friend of mine got for her when N turned two. She is dressed up all in turquoise (not pink!) to match her hair. N named her Shanti (because at that point they were watching Jungle Book every single day) carried her everywhere, ate with her, slept with her and celebrated her birthday. Shanti helped keep the Barbies at bay. N never did develop a passion for them. 

And there was the green-haired one called Pony whose leg kept coming off and I had to keep stitching it back on.

Then there was H’s gada - his all powerful mace. It was his absolute super power. He watched television with it on his lap. He carried it everywhere, even when we went visiting or when he was invited to a party. 

There was the boy-doll my sister got him because he wanted a doll ‘just like N’ but not a ‘girl-doll’. And so after much research a ‘boy-doll’ was found; actually it was a girl doll with short hair but H never knew the difference.

There was H’s kitchen set that he spent hours cooking at, his dinosaur army (apparently all of them fought each other to extinction), N’s tiny dressing table at which she’d sit like lady ‘drying’ her hair till she could fit on the stool no more and many many more. I let some of them go rather reluctantly even while I cling to others even now, as I wonder at how fickle kids can be.

But then probably the toys don’t hold the same meaning for them as they do for me. For them, beloved as they might be, they are just toys, which they will outgrow at some point.. and thank goodness for that.

To me, however, they are not just toys. They are bits of people I love and who love the children in turn. They are signs of affection and caring. 

They are a reminder of how innocent the kids were before the outside world and peer pressure changed them and fitted them into stupid stereotypes. Yeah, unfortunately that’s happening already.

Most of all I hold on to them because they are a bit of the kids’ childhood, a bit, I perhaps, never really want to let go.

Picture Credit: PIXABAY



32 comments:

  1. Awww... such a sweet post. I feel the same, but then my OH said I am such a hoarder! lol! #mg

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    1. I'm trying hard to get out of the hoarding but it's hard.

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  2. My toddler is not a fond of dolls and would rather play with dolls. If we can keep the kids away of peer pressure and other negative things a little longer, we succeeded as parents :)

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    1. The thing is once they are older, try as we might, peer pressure does get to them. Which is what makes their baby-days even more precious.

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  3. DO NOT talk about parents being more attached to their children's things. I am going through this with great intensity right now. It IS weird, because I've actually purged quite a bit and sent off at least 80% of the stuff to loving new owners. Yet, that last bit is really tough. Hugs. I know how you feel. What I am doing is taking photos as keepsakes and giving away the things. It works, Tulika. How exciting to see kids crazy about keeping rooms neat! Heheheheh. Enjoy!

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    1. That's such a fabulous idea. Yeah pictures would be great.
      Yeah it's good to see the kids keeping the room neat - enjoying it while it lasts.

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  4. Haha, I admit I haven't heard of parents getting attached to the toys, it's sweet. I miss my toys I had as a kid, it is a special joy to see them when I go back to my hometown...not that I play with them. Their presence is simply pleasing. It almost broke my heart when some lovely ones were given away, but then it would serve better purpose with smaller kids than with me so the sacrifice was worth it.

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    1. How come you are so mature about all of this? Hugs to you Darshana.

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  5. Hey Tulika, I have been there too. Its tough but then you cannot and should not hold on to things. I created a fictional tale about decluttering toys- Hope you like reading it- http://lifethroughmybioscope.com/toy-story-at-my-home/ and yes, do take clicks of them to keep in memories.

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    1. That was such a sweet story. Feeling a little bit inspired to give some away.

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  6. I know this feeling sooo well and I so agree with you, Tulika. Yes, we dont look at our children's toys as mere toys but as fond memories that we have had with them.

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  7. I totally understand what you are saying. Actually I understand much more than that. Material things are often our connections to memories to emotional connects. I wrote something similar in my latest post. Good that you got them to clean their room. I crack the whip and only then do my kids clean.

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    1. Read your post Rachna and I agree wholeheartedly. Things aren't just things - if that were the case I'd probably be hoarding the most expensive of their toys - it's the memories we want to keep. I loved what you said.

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  8. Such love in this piece. You're so right about holding on to things for sentimental value. I find that adorable the way H and N were attached to their dolls. A piece of childhood that should never really leave us, right?

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    1. Thanks Shailaja. The thing is they outgrow things with such thoughtlessness while I find myself clutching onto them.

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  9. Oh I love that pic you used, so cute! I agree it is hard to let go of their childhood things because we feel like it is accepting that we have to let go of the fact they are not our babies anymore. Make me sad! #mg

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    1. Thanks MG. It's a hard fact but only too true.

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  10. tell me about it! There are a million things my kids have outgrown but i haven't...I have even stored the first dress, shoe, etc of my kids(thankfully only the first one!) Impossible to let go, like you said, there's a bit of their childhood and memories attached to each!

    Shubhangi @ The Little Princess

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    1. That's the thing - the memories attached to them are only too precious.

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  11. We too have many things close to our heart. They give us such a warm feeling about many sweet old memories.

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    1. Right Vasantha. Thanks for dropping by.

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  12. This so sweet! I remember my mom had kept a few of toys even after I had outgrown them. I think I can still find some if I look for them at home :D

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    1. Ha ha.. I guess moms are all the same everywhere.

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  13. Oh its like reading about myself! I have had such obsessions with a lot of things of my kids too. sometimes even they do not care about some of their favourite playthings but I take care of those.
    Menaka Bharathi has recently published http://simpleindianmom.in/demonitization-indian-moms-cope/

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    1. Like I said - moms truly are the same! Oh and most kids are also quite the same.

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  14. I am obsessive when it comes ot clearing out and am frequently asking my teens if I can throw some of their things out. There are a couple of things that have to be kept for sentimental reasons like their first "teddy" but otherwise I am quite ruthless. #mg

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    1. That's good to hear because otherwise one ends up collecting so much junk over the years. One simply has to be ruthless and give away things.

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  15. What a lovely heart felt piece this is and I see my Mum has kept my dolls and my brothers car collection as is. I know it's so gender specific but let's talk about it some other day. The point is she has held on while I have moved on. Every Diwali she cleans our stuff back home and arranges them again. Like you, she is holding on to her kid's childhood. Gosh - this post gave me jitters of how fragile our emotions are. We need to take care of them well. Hugs and love, Tulika.

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    1. Thanks a ton Parul. Your comment here made my day. How sweet of your mom to have saved up your toys. I now feel it's okay to hang on to some of H and N's things.

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  16. I though I had commented here. But now I don't find it here. Maybe I didn't enter it properly. Your post reminded me of one time when my dad made me a doll using a toffee cover on my birthday. I used to cherish it for so long, especially for the fact that he got transferred to another city and I missed him a lot. Toys are precious. They evoke so much of memories. I wish one day I would be nostalgic about my kid's toys too. I would have a story to tell to him/her that day, for sure of this treasured toy of mine:)

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    1. Two times thanks for commenting Maliny :-). Yeah toys are precious only for the memories associated with them.

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