Desperately seeking friends

April, 2010
I’d been preparing the kids for a quite sometime for the shift to Pune. Since they had plenty of friends in Bombay I was apprehensive they’d get lonely. I’d been giving them lessons on how to make friends. However, I was quite sure none of it would work. I have always felt that friendship, like love, can’t be sought. It just happens.. that’s how it’s been with me. The best friends I have always ‘found’ me rather than me going out ‘looking’ for them. (Lazy??)

However I tried to put aside all my doubts and repeated over and over how the kids should go about making friends. Repetition, according to psychologists, is the only way to get across to your kids. (Weird or what?)

Anyway so this is what I told them to do…
Hi I’m Hrit/Naisha. What’s your name? May I play with you? Do you want to play with my scooter/ball?
I was specially worried about Hrit because the last time we’d shifted he’d taken about four months to settle down and find friends. Till that time all kids by default were enemies. It was tough.

Yesterday while we were down at play along came this kid. Without any provocation he spread his arms and barred Hrit’s way. Uh oh.. thought I.. now begins the fight. I sprinted to the scene of action ready to mediate. But surprise surprise.. when I reached there Hrit was in full swing. “My name is Hrit.. aap ka naam kya hai? Meri behen ka naam Naisha hai,” he parroted. To say that I was shocked would be an understatement. Naisha I would have expected to do something like this, but Hrit, never.

Naisha, on the other hand has been a handful. She’s refusing to share her toys and not interacting with the other kids at all. Like I always say.. between Hrit and Naisha one has to ALWAYS give me a hard time. On the positive side.. one is always a dream. I do hope Hrit’s ‘good’ phase continues. Naisha will come around soon too. Meanwhile I’m trying to apply the Secret, think positive.