I love you so much it hurts.. said a corny line from the Salman Khan classic MPK … However it seemed unusually apt for me.
Yes I am in love ….. with a slim me. And boy does it hurt. Back home from my first day at the gym, from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.. everything hurt. Love sure hurts.
As I stand on the weighing scales at 70+ kgs the slim me is an ephemeral dream. It is the pursuit of this love that led me to the gym. This love has led me to the most legendary fights of all times -- the battle with the bulge. There has been no truce for thirty years. It is a challenge neither of us is ready to give up. It was a fair fight and despite a few lows I remained the winner for a good many years.. till my twins happened. The enemy finding my attention diverted attacked with full force.
By the time the kids turned four and I took cognizance of the situation the enemy stood waving its victory flag all over me. Not one to accept defeat easily, I took charge. Off I went to the gym once more.
I took on aerobics six times a week. I loved the music and thought I’d have fun. My mistake. Ten minutes into the session and I was spent. I stopped mid session and stood panting by the stepper thinking I’d drop if I took another step. But the demon instructor made me get back on. On I went driven by will power alone groaning and cursing.
There were days of kickboxing, which I thought I would enjoy till the instructor told me to do 60 kicks in a row followed by sixty punches…. My shoulders protested and my thigh muscles almost gave up but on I went.
Then there were the Fridays.. bhangra days. I must mention here that I NEVER dance. Not even the casual dance one does at weddings or parties.. I am the kind that stands around and claps. When really moved by the music or the occasion I might sway a bit but that’s as far as I’d go.
The other girls were of course thrilled.. the men quietly backed out. So what does a girl non dancer do?? Not dance? Wrong.. a girl non dancer desperate to get slim.. dances, or tries to. Fridays saw a resolute me boogeying to bhangra beats. I thought that was as far as I was willing to go for the love of the slim me. However, there was more.
In a bid to make our workouts ‘interesting’ the instructors introduced Salsa every Monday. Slasa and me??? My friends laughed at the mere idea … but did I back out? No. On I went. “One two three.. five six seven.. right left right…right left right… move your waist,” exhorted the trainer. I struggled to move my feet, my waist and my hands in time to the music holding on to an imaginary partner. Once I lost my self-consciousness it wasn’t so bad. I began to have fun. And the icing on the cake – it wasn’t hard work like the bhangra.
After a well-rested Sunday I entered the gym thinking of a cool Salsa session. But love’s way is never simple. For that special ‘zing’ the gym decided to bring in hip hop. Hip hop I thought??? My mind went blank. Now that was one dance form I didn’t even like watching. But where was the choice?
Shahid’s song boomed out -- Aaja aaja dil nichoden…..Dhan tanan.. I thought I would die before I’d try those jerks. But I didn’t. The instructor came on … one, two, three jerk.. one, two, three jerk.. play an imaginary guitar… now jump as high as you can…. And on he went.
Half a dozen girls shook, moved, jiggled and jogged and surprise surprise.. so did I. By the second week there I was, right in front, all of my forty years and 70 kgs trying to keep pace. No I never really enjoyed the locking and the popping and I never had the heart to even glance at the mirror at my ridiculous self. However I must admit to the thrill of having done it all….or maybe I speak too soon. I’ve moved and am looking out for a gym. Wonder what this one will make me do.
PS: I did lose weight too and am back on an even footing.. well on my way to defeating the enemy. The ‘completely slim me’ dream though is still a dream.
Labels: Fight with fat, humour