Like most young women festivals, for Naisha, are purely an occasion to dress up. Those who know Naisha would of course know -- that would mean wearing a chaniya choli. When Rakshabandhan came up her first question was, “May I wear a Chaniya Choli.” Before I could nod or shake my head she lifted her forefinger at me (both kids have picked this rather unpleasant habit of pointing their forefinger from their mother.. sigh) and said, “You said I could wear it for festivals and pujas.”
A nod it had to be, then.
I had seen this coming (smart mum) and I had her ensemble ready, or rather, their outfits ready for if Naisha wears a Chaniya Choli, Hrit must follow in his Kurta Pajama.
Quite in keeping with his male genes Hrit is hardly bothered about what he wears … of course as long as it is in tune with what Naisha wears. Then there was the issue of the gifts and much much against my better sense I went out to scout….
I must take a flashback break please…
When we were growing up the excitement of a festival was about being together.. papa coming home early, accompanying him to the market with lists of shopping, decorating the house, making cards, helping our grandmoms and mum with the cooking.. and yes yummy food and sometimes, new clothes.
I do make an effort to involve the kids in the decoration, the shopping and the cooking but the special food and new clothes are a given. What I’ve failed completely at, is the issue of gifts. Gifts have become the central theme, whether it’s a birthday, diwali or yes Rakshabandhan. Gifts take centre stage sidelining everything else .. the emotion.. the togetherness… the prayers and puja.. the excitement of doing something special together.
And I have no one to blame, except me.
My promise to myself for next year…
I WILL stress on making them do something special for each other on Rakshbandhan..
Maybe a 'no fight' pact (not possible of course.. but no harm trying)
Cards for each other
And maybe just token gifts
Suggestions invited for more ideas
This year I got them both gifts. Then with the major issues out of the way I went about the rest of the mundane stuff like buying rakhis and preparing for the ceremony. Finally it was all done and I peacefully looked forward to the big day.
Rakshabandhan arrived and brought with it a wonderfully excited Naisha and predictably enough (Remember the rule: I have to have one child happy and one crabby) a superbly grumpy Hrit.
Well I got them dressed.. they looked sweet.. I have to hand it to Naisha – she does look delightfully cute in traditional clothes. When she was all done Hrit thought she looked quite pretty and promptly asked me if he could please marry Naisha. I recovered my composure in a matter of minutes (experienced mum) and explained that he couldn’t and that we’d find someone as pretty for him. He seemed a tad miffed but agreed.
Their cousin came over and as the time of the puja approached Hrit got more and more grouchy.
Sometimes I wish I had the power to look inside their heads and hearts so I could understand why Why WHY they get crabby.
In the absence of any such powers all I could do was try my best to pacify him while holding onto tightly to my short fuse. He refused to get his picture clicked.. then refused to get the tika put.. then he said he didn’t want any rice on his tika.. when the sisters tried to give him mithai he covered his mouth with both his hands. When Naisha started tying his rakhi he totally rebelled, “I won’t tie two rakhis,” he bawled.. that, when it his favourite Ben10 rakhi.
Then it was time for exchanging gifts and Hrit chose that time to launch into a full fledged tantrum. He snatched at the gifts saying.. I want this one…. I want the big one… mine is not nice and on and on. He completely lost it.
And so did I
I know. I shouldn’t have. But I did.
And so Rakshabandhan ended up a not-so-nice affair. If only Hrit and I had had some patience!
|I WILL NOT cooperate|