I was dismantling the Janamashtami jhanki a few days back, yeah.. I know it's been ages since Janamashtami came and went but I'm slow at dismantling/putting away things.
I was wondering what to do with the decorations. How tough it is to throw away stuff! I'm sure I'll never use those chart papers, paper leaf trees or the play dough figures and even those gorgeous peacock feathers, yet I just HATE to throw them away. Seems kind of heartless doesn't it?
In fact throwing away anything is hard, even the seemingly worthless stuff... Used birthday decorations, diwali diyas, sea shells that raise a stink each time I open the packet, pine cones I picked up on a trip to Nainital, gift boxes, pretty bottles, colourful cartons...and tons of books - I can't bear to part with even one. Sigh! (Yeah I know where Naisha gets her predilection for junk. That is another post that needs to be done).
Then there are clothes. And I'm not even going to mention the jeans in three different sizes, at least there's a possibility I might fit into them, however hypothetical. There's loads more. Then there's the kids' stuff.. a ladybug costume I'd made for Naisha when she was three, a tiger's tail for Hrit, annual day costumes I know they'll never wear again, the hand knitted hoodies my cousin got for them all the way from Dehradun, Hrit's first pair of glasses, broken of course, Naisha's favourite doll, which she has now outgrown but apparently I haven't....
Each time we move and all my stashed up stuff comes out and is put embarrassingly on display The Husband throws a fit. "Throw it all out," says he.
But how can I?
How can I throw away the salwar suit my dad carried all the way from Bhuj despite being stuck in that huge earthquake? Or that pullover my grandma squinted over for ages stopping to confer with my friends to make sure it was in keeping with the latest fashion? Or that saffron-maroon sari that got me the sole "best dressed lady" award of my life ever? And there are others, stacks and stacks of saris... gorgeous, colourful silky silks, diaphanous Chanderis, crisp cottons... How do I throw away the first one The Husband ever got me? Or the ones mum lovingly packed, complete with matching accessories, as part of my trousseau with elaborate instructions ("This one is for the reception" and "This one for when you go visiting" "this for evenings at home" Oh my mum is thorough!). Never mind that I never took to wearing them.
How do I throw away all of it? It's in this 'junk' that I store my memories.. memories of happy times, memories of loving and being loved.
And so I'm keeping all of them... we just need a bigger home. Any more hoarders out there looking for bigger homes?